That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
