I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
