You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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