i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
