i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
