We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
