My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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