I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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