so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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