your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
