I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
