i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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