I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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