that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
smell my finger.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
