Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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