Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
