some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
