brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
