Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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