why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
