don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
