The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
