so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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