He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
