You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
