Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
