Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
