in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
