i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
