Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize