2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
