It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
