Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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