didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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