found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
