You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Randomize
