I like to think it a success when the cops are called
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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