I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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