theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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