I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
