Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
