question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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