I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
