Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo

(619): View more from California

Cremation, why do you ask?

(760): View more from California

I think we have a bit of a problem

Fav 15 1473 1977
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(479): View more from Arkansas

She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

Fav 2 1079 1023
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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(515): View more from Iowa

I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

(316): View more from Kansas

Just the budget?

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(316): View more from Kansas

Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.

Fav 8 1314 3795
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(518): View more from New York

i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

Fav 8 3172 1498
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(336): View more from North Carolina

i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

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(914): View more from New York

First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.

Fav 1 386 799
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.

(734): View more from Michigan

please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso

(603): View more from New Hampshire

:)

(603): View more from New Hampshire

i can feel colors

Fav 0 121 7
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