Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
