Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
