high people should be assigned attendants
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
