Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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