woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
