I like to think it a success when the cops are called
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
