Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's get the cat blown out
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
