well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Randomize
