Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
no you cant smoke seaweed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
