porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
