Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Come on in and take your pants off
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